2005-03-04 - 11:01 p.m.
Apparently, I could make a candle out of this shit
I mean, fuck, I want to have some GOOD news for once. Some really wonderful, concrete news. I don’t want to have to call my mother and say, “Yeah, not this time either” anymore. NO MORE OF THIS BULLSHIT.
I didn’t get the Dream Job. I knew it was too good to be true. Apparently, the guy to whom the job was offered is “ready to make the move”. They’ll know 100% on Monday, but it’s pretty much done. I’m being recommended for his job, but that doesn’t mean I’ll get it. It means I probably won’t get it. And we’re right back where we started.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
And I hate this, because I shouldn’t be so upset about it. I should have prepared myself. I suppose it’s OK, because I still haven’t heard about the job I had FOUR INTERVIEWS for, but… I mean, seriously, what happens now? If that company offers me the job, do I still want it, even though I now know that I really, truly want to be in a different part of the field? And if it doesn’t, I’m back to square one AGAIN. Sucks all around, kinda.
So I’m gonna mope for a bit. You’ll have to excuse me.
At least I can hear, though. It’s gross, but I’ll share anyway—I couldn’t hear out of my right ear for three days. No, that part’s not gross. I finally went to the clinic today, and after waiting for THREE HOURS, during which I waited for the phone to ring and attempted to read a book, it took a doctor 10 seconds to tell me that the wax in my right ear was completely impacted. Grrrrrrreat. I got it flushed by the nurse, who couldn’t stop exclaiming over how much wax there was, and I refused outright to look at it. I think it would have given me nightmares or something. But I can hear again, and it doesn’t hurt anymore, so that’s a plus. Then I came back home and vegged (roomie is out of town! Wheee!), and then I got that email, so… Meh. I guess we’ll see. It was a crazy week. We’ll see how next week goes.
