2003-07-06 - 7:41 a.m.
Is it too hot outside for sex?
It’s 7:30 am. On a Sunday. And I’m awake. That sucks.
I tried to go back to sleep, but it just didn’t work. I started thinking about class, and the work I did on Thursday, and whether it was good enough… The usual plague. I did some shots on Thursday for my first production assignment—5 silent shots outside. My first experience with a camera. Nerve-wracking. And all I can do is hope that it’s good. I don’t want to learn from it, I want it to be good! It’s the curse of the artistic perfectionist.
I also wrote a story for class. I like the story. I think it’s good. But the more I think about it, the more I dissect it, the more I want to change it. Feh. I need to get over this, or I won’t sleep all year.
It’s hot here. I bought a fan yesterday, and that’s helped LOADS, but it’s still way hot. I didn’t expect this. I thought, “New York, right? No humidity. 80 degrees.” But no. It’s humid. It’s 90-plus degrees out, and hazy and gross. At the Fourth of July barbecue I planned and one of my new buddies hosted, it was so disgustingly hot that most of us left at 11:30 pm. I was exhausted and sweaty and smelly, and all I wanted to do was get home and take a cool shower and go to bed. It was so bad that I vowed to buy a fan.
Which I did. I went out yesterday morning, first thing (I didn’t even shower, which is weird for me) and tried to find the brand-new Target. I ended up driving in circles for 45 minutes (I even parked at the Kmart and went in, and man, that place sucks), but I finally found it. Ah, sweet, sweet Tarzhay. This was the most GORGEOUS Target I have ever seen. Brand new. Beautiful. Clean. Not crowded. Everything in its place.
I bought the fan. I bought printer paper. I bought a stapler. I bought feminine products, because these are the things you buy at Tarzhay. Then I walked past the DVDs.
You see, I just got a DVD player. You’d think that someone who’s getting an advanced degree in television and film would have a DVD player as soon as possible, but you’d be wrong. So I finally used my Amazon gift certificates and bought a nice Toshiba for 35 bucks. And yesterday I bought DVDs. Three of them. For less than 40 bucks. I’m like a kid with a new toy.
I spent the rest of the day inside. I did laundry. I cleaned. I did a lot of reading, but I’m not quite sure how much I absorbed. It’s just too hot. I’m going to a barbecue today, which should be fun. M might be there, so it might end up being even more fun.
Is it too hot outside for sex?
M went to Maine for the weekend. I invited him to our bbq, but he had to decline, of course. He did, however, send me a banter-y email. Very, very sexy. I have no clue what’s happening with him. We might never have sex again. We might decide to make an arrangement. It’s all weirdly open for discussion, but at least it was fun while it lasted.
Anyway. I’m going to try to get back to sleep now. Grr.
