2003-05-30 - 6:36 p.m.
Pre-birthday blues
I spent last night going through the first stages of chat withdrawal. Hopefully, things will calm down a bit and we can have some “normal” chatting for the next couple of days, because I don’t know if I can take ten days of “We’re shutting down! Waaah! I’ll miss you guys sooooo much!” Not because I’m a rabid bitch, but because I think that would be a shame. It’s not what chat is about, and it’s not what I’ll miss.
I did get to talk to doogie05 last night. That was funny. Heh.
So, anyway. I’ve been in kind of a funk all day. It’s finally sunny out, for ONCE, but I’m in this limbo again. I’m bored, but I don’t want to work. My birthday’s tomorrow, but I can’t get excited about it. My friends at work took me out for my birthday today, and I just... didn’t feel it. I got a sandwich, and I smiled, but I just felt kind of blah until Jenna insisted that I try a frappucino-like concoction made with Oreos and whipped cream. I had about two sips and felt instantly better, and I jabbered on for a while. It was OK. Not the greatest birthday lunch in the world, but not at all bad.
I keep wondering what’s going to happen when I leave. Jenna said she has “something in the works”, but I don’t know what it is and I doubt it’s going to be anything huge. I just can’t get worked up about anything; I just want to GO HOME, you know? Spend all day chatting online. I don’t want to work anymore, not here. I don’t really want a fuss, for once. Oh, I’ll probably change my mind about that next Friday, but for now? Feh.
I have a feeling that most people will forget my birthday, too. Not my online friends, because I’ve reminded them enough (!), and half of them read this journal anyway. Nah. D will probably forget. The Visitor will sure as HELL forget (I’ve reminded him enough, too, but I don’t think he’ll forget so much as he just doesn’t care). A will probably forget, even though hers is two days later. The Piano Man won’t call me even if he does remember. I don’t know why I care so much, but I do. It’s one of those “things”. Remembering my friends’ birthdays is really important to me, but somehow, this year, I think my own will slip by unnoticed. I have to do a concert, and that kind of takes precedence. Mom is out of town. So, you know, whatever.
I know, I know. I promised I’d be positive this week. Feh.
