2003-05-09 - 6:46 p.m.
Pre-weekend ramblings
I had a crazy day yesterday. I was up early to meet Cindy for breakfast, and because I have seriously misplaced hubris I gave myself only 30 minutes to get up, shower, and get ready. I was a few minutes late. Being the anal idiot that I am, those few minutes made me nuts. But all was OK.
I also had lunch with K and her kid. We went for sushi at this place in McLean that she used to go to when she was working. It was GREAT. The food was excellent, and the waitstaff was awesome. I mean, you walk into a sushi bar with a baby at prime business lunch hour and you expect to get some funny looks, but they were wonderful. It also helps that this particular child is an absolute delight; he’s fussy, sure, and he gets his hands into everything, but he’s sweet and he smiles and he doesn’t cry much. K is amazing. That kid grabbed a handful of wasabi and she saw it right away and took care of it. She also caught everything before it could fall down, and she was well-armed with a suction-cup bowl that stuck to the table. Rockin’. Also, I have apparently succeeded in my quest to teach this child how to high-five.
After all of that excitement, I was exhausted. I went home, made dinner and prepared to clean the bathroom and chill out. At 8 pm the phone rang. One of my friends was in town with her boyfriend, and she wanted to see me. At Dupont. At 8. When she hadn’t eaten dinner. NO WAY, man. I love her and all, but not enough to pretty myself up, shlep downtown and spend time with her obnoxious boyfriend. Besides, she had already told me that she had plans and couldn’t see me on Thursday, so I made other arrangements, basically. I had asked her before if she wanted to go out on Thursday, she’d told me she couldn’t. Oh, well.
Yeah. I’m a bitch.
In other news... I’m on a listserv for my grad program. I’ve been getting about 20 emails a day with introductions. I am concerned about two things—1) they’re all sports fans and 2) 75% of the emails are coming from people who are just getting ready to graduate from college. I’m sensing a segregation here, because a few people have written asking if there are any others coming from the workforce. I have a feeling it will turn into a little division, which isn’t so bad, frankly. My days of dealing with undergrads and their drama are over.
I've been having trouble breathing. I've had this before, and it was anxiety. It's not breathing, per se, that's bugging me, but deep breathing. So last night I gave in and turned on the a/c. That helps-- apparently, the dampness in the air has been leading to some problems. Allergies, maybe? Regardless, I'm kind of glad I'll be out of town for a while so I don't have to turn the a/c on all the time and *gasp* spend money on the electric bill! I am a cheap bastard, aren't I? Well, let's see-- can't breathe, air conditioning would help, but NO. Gotta keep the costs down! Whatever. I guess keeping it on overnight, and at 75 degrees, isn't so bad. And it's only one night. At the hotel in Florida I can turn it up as high as I want to.
I’m also having weird marriage fantasies. Serious ones. With one particular man. I’m envisioning this amazing life together, but also the arguments and the struggles. I can see myself growing old with him, watching CNN and reading the paper on Sunday mornings. I can see our wedding, though not as clearly as I can see our marriage. I’m crazy. It’s probably just a new version of infatuation for me (I used to see walks in the park, now I see nights on the sofa), but it’s bizarre nonetheless. I see him thinking that I’m the sexiest pregnant woman in the world. I see us hosting barbecues for our suburban friends. I don’t know what to do with this. Do I want this man? Sure I do. Am I chasing him? Not as much as I might have before. I’m kind of in a place where if it’s meant to be, it will be, and I’m not going to push it. I’ve been laying a little low with him. Nothing will happen, probably, and we’re not meant to be together at all, but the daydreams are nice anyway.
I’m going home this weekend for a Bat Mitzvah and for Mother’s Day in New York with Mom and Grandmom, then I’m back here for a couple of days, then off to Florida. Woo hoo! Much excitement in store. Wish me luck!
