2003-05-01 - 7:20 p.m.
X-Scape
They kicked my girl off American Idol and kept the constipated Marine on. Sigh. What is this world coming to? Don’t you people SEE? Aren’t you as frightened of Josh’s eyebrows as I am? Can’t you see how angry he is at us when he sings? We, America, are all idiots.
Anyway.
Just when you think it’s all over, something comes along to bite you in the ass. I was on my way to rehearsal last night, and I started to think about the Piano Man. This was not random. We were having a vote last night about a merger with an orchestra, and he’s on the board, so I thought he might be there. And I thought about what would happen and how nice it would be to just take him home and screw him silly. That was the nicest part of our relationship, you know. This time last year we were so happy and so giddy, and the memories have become nice and fond now. I was thinking last night that there’s no way I’d date him again—the thought gives me the heebs, frankly—but he was a fun partner and we had a good time while it lasted. I was also thinking that I was all proud of myself that I hadn’t called him after our concert and how I didn’t even care anymore. If I saw him, great. If not, no big thing.
So he wasn’t there last night. Not a big deal, because he never is. But then my chorus director started talking about our upcoming concert and saying how he had talked to the Piano Man and he was still waiting to hear whether PM would be joining us for our upcoming concert.
No. Fucking. Way.
This should not be a huge deal, and it isn’t. But I don’t want to see him. I thought I’d go away and never see him again, and that was fine with me. Just let the memories live as they are now, you know? And to add insult to injury, our next concert is on my birthday.
Yup. My birthday. My 25th birthday. It’s bad enough that I’m doing a concert on my birthday when I should be out getting trashed, but now I have to see my ex-boyfriend? Grr.
This brings up all kinds of crap. Last year, for my 24th birthday, he took me to a restaurant I’d been dying to go to for ages and had only mentioned once. He surprised me with it, too. He’d been recording a CD for two weeks, and he wasn’t sure if he’d be available to take me out on my birthday. I took the day off from work, and he called in the morning. I’d been expecting him to tell me that he was sorry, he was too busy, etc., but he told me that they could screw it and he was picking me up at 6:30. He was late, of course, but that was because he stopped to get me flowers. We got in the car and when he parked, I looked across the street, saw the sign for the restaurant, squealed and kissed him. It was a great evening. He even wanted to take me out later, but I was doing the Race for the Cure the next morning and had to be up at 6. But we had a good time, and we had some pretty fun sex that night.
It was also the last evening like that in our relationship. A week later, he came over and told me he wanted to scale things back, that he didn’t want to be exclusive anymore. So my birthday last year was kind of loaded. And now I might have to see him again.
I’ve been wondering what he would do anyway. Would he send me a birthday email? Would he call? Probably not. Honestly, I don’t understand why he hasn’t made some sort of effort, but I don’t really care at this point. But if he does the concert, will he remember? Will he say anything?
I wish I hadn’t pissed off my friend. I would have asked him to come to the concert and pretend to be dating me so PM would get jealous. Heh. Yeah. I’m in fourth grade.
I don’t know. Maybe PM will do something nice. Maybe he’ll wish me a happy birthday and give me a hug. Maybe he’ll ask me to come over so he can screw me silly. It’s a thought.
