2003-04-23 - 6:49 p.m.
Cyber and sex, but not at the same time
I love to shop online. It’s a sickness. I can browse for anything and everything. Sometimes I’ll spend an hour or so on Amazon.com just looking at crap. I made up a Wish List yesterday so I could remind myself about all the crap I want. Shopping in person is cool, too—in fact, I like to browse online and shop in person, especially for clothes—but I hate mall crowds and traffic and slow people, and besides, you can’t shop during downtime at work. So, online it is.
Yesterday I made a purchase. I kicked myself for about 6 hours after making this purchase, which I seriously regret doing now. The kicking, not the purchasing. I’ll explain. I have $45 in gift certificates from Amazon, so I was futzing around, making up that Wish List. I decided I needed a new portable CD player. I saw a whole bunch of cute ones for under $50, and I saw one really great Panasonic with a radio for under $60. Cool, I thought. I need a new CD player because my current one is several years old, skips a lot and scratches the occasional disk, and if I’m going to be walking to classes, I want a new CD player. Then, a few hours later, I said, “Hey. If I buy this with my gift certs, I’ll be spending 12 bucks on a CD player, which ain’t that bad. I’ll buy it.”
Well, it wasn’t available. But I could get a refurbished one from a Marketplace seller for the same price. Cool—good as new, factory warranty. That works. I tried to apply my gift certs. They didn’t seem to take, and in my zeal, I figured they might take after I made the purchase.
Yes, I’m a bonehead.
So, basically, the certificates didn’t take and I’m out almost $60. I wrote to Amazon customer service, then I read the fine print. Oops. No gift certs for Marketplace sellers. Can’t cancel either without contacting the seller. D’oh!
So I spent several hours yesterday STRESSING about this. Because I am stupid. Can I afford the CD player? Sort of. Tax refund. Valentine’s check from the grandparents. Reimbursement from Disney World. Yes, I can. Should I be going around spending any money on anything right now? No, not really. Will I be really happy with what I bought? Yes. Did I spend under $100? Yes. So it’s really, seriously OK. An early birthday present to myself.
I might have felt better about it if I hadn’t just laid down money for something else which I didn’t exactly need but I wanted pretty badly. Also something I bought thinking I could use my gift certificates and I couldn’t.
I bought a vibrator.
A Hitachi Magic Wand, to be precise. Highly recommended by all the lovely DCWs. I figured it was about time; I mean, after all, I’m a goddess now, and all goddesses need to improve their orgasm technique. I never thought I needed any help in that area, but I’m always game for trying something new. And besides, I hear it makes a good neck massager.
Buying the Hitachi, however, has made one thing abundantly clear to me: I need to get laid. Badly. Last night I was sooooo close to emailing the Visitor and offering to split the cost of his bus ticket so I could get some action. My birthday’s coming up, dammit! I want to be coming too!
My hormones are raging at the moment, mostly because I’m menstrual. I feel like I could walk down the street and ooze sex right now, but G-d knows what that will attract, and I’m choosy. Mildly choosy, but choosy all the same. Right now there are three guys on my list: the Visitor, Cute IT Boy and Cute Chorus Boy. The latter two have girlfriends. The first, well, I don’t know if he’s still seeing her and I’m afraid to ask. I wonder what he would say if I emailed him and said, “Hey, listen, I’ll pay for half of your bus ticket if you come down here and give me a little more of that tongue action.” Soooo tempting. Whorish? I don’t know. If we were still doing the flirty thing, I think that would be charming. Desperate? Perhaps.
I want to get to grad school NOW, if only so I can have new boys to look at. I want to score. I know a lot more about sexuality (my own, in particular) than I did in undergrad, and I intend to make the most of it.
Until then, it’s just me and my Hitachi, courtesy of my online shopping obsession. Woo hoo!
